


because you matter

by zefive



Category: Eddsworld - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Sad Fluff, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-24
Updated: 2018-08-24
Packaged: 2019-07-02 02:38:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15787254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zefive/pseuds/zefive
Summary: Matt's afraid they'll leave him; Edd tries his best to make him realise that's never gonna happen.





	because you matter

**Author's Note:**

> i bummed Em out with my [crispy nuggets](http://ewze.tumblr.com/tagged/crispy-nuggets/chrono) series, so i wrote some sad fluff to make up for it?  
> (and then i liked it enough to post it, whoops)

“I had a nightmare.”

Matt’s surprisingly quiet, in moments like this.

Edd peers back at him, blinking the sleep from his eyes, and for a long moment, he’s tempted to make a joke out of it- but Matt’s eyes are shiny, and his face is hollow, and Edd’s a jerk, yeah, but that’s kind of a step _too far_.

So he pats the spot beside him, shifts aside to make room. 

Matt beelines for him; crawls up on the bed, and hesitates for a second, hovering there, and Edd sighs, reclines his head in a _go ahead_ motion, and immediately Matt flops down on him, presses in close. Buries his face in Edd’s shoulder and digs in his fingers, clinging like some kind of koala. 

Edd huffs. “Bad one?”

Matt nods into his shirt, and there’s already wet spots shivering on his skin, and Edd wraps an arm around Matt, tangles his fingers into Matt’s hair.

“You wanna talk about it?” he asks, not really expecting Matt to agree. Because this isn’t the first time, probably won’t be the last one either, and Matt’s always so _quiet_ on what he dreams about, always refuses to tell. And maybe that’s good, but Edd isn’t sure if he likes it.

“Not really,” Matt mumbles, and Edd sighs, scratches his nails gently over Matt’s scalp.

“Maybe it’d be good to talk about them,” he says, and Matt shrugs, shifts to press his cheek against Edd’s shoulder instead, and Edd wonders if Tom’s asleep, or if he’s awake, sprawled out on his bed.

“They scare me,” Matt says, after a while. His voice is soft, barely there- Edd looks down, and his face is stricken with tears, eyes rimmed red, and he looks _lost_.

Gently, unsure of what else to do, Edd keeps on running his fingers through Matt’s hair.

Maybe it helps. Maybe Matt’s finally cracking, too tired to keep it chained up anymore. Because just like that, he starts talking.

“I’m always alone. Like, you guys _leave me_. And it’s always my fault, you know?”

Matt looks down, keeps his eyes on the fabric of Edd’s shirt.

“It’s always because I’m not _good enough_. Because I’m stupid, or ugly, or-” his shoulders hitch; his face flush, and Matt curls up again, Edd’s fingers slipping out of his hair.

“And you always _leave_!”

The room hovers in quiet. Matt’s breathing is uneven, hitchy- his shoulders are shaking, and Edd isn’t sure what to do. Isn’t sure if he should reach out, if he should touch Matt.

Matt whimpers; voice strangled and upset, and Edd realises, just like that, that Matt thinks this _could happen_.

He sits up. Doesn’t even care that that jostles Matt, sends him tipping- he reaches out, grasp Matt before he can fall, and makes sure to look him straight in the face.

“Matt,” he says, voice as no-nonsense as he can make it. “We’re not going to leave you.”

Matt’s eyes go wide; his face is pale, scared, and he tries to look away- tries to run, and _fuck that_. Edd snaps one hand up, curls his palm against Matt’s cheek, and _nope_. Turns Matt’s face right to his.

“I’m serious,” he says, and he _is_. “You’re our _best friend_ , Matt.”

And Matt doesn’t believe him- it’s clear on his face, and god, that _hurts_. Because why would Matt think that? Why would he seriously believe they don’t love him, and Edd’s throat is tight. 

“I’m not joking,” he tries, and his eyes sting. “Okay? I’m _serious_ , Matt. We- _I_ \- love you.”

Matt’s eyes flicker away; his lips are a thin line, his eyes are shiny, and Edd feels a tear run down his cheek, cool and sharp.

“What can I say to make you believe me?” he asks, at a loss. Because what _can_ he say, here?

And Matt shrugs. Sniffs.

Edd lets his hand fall; curls it in Matt’s shirt, because he wants to stay connected, wants to _keep_ Matt here.

“We’d be lost without you,” he says. “Seriously. You’re so important to us, Matt- and I know Tom’s bad at showing it, I _know_ , but he loves you too. I know he does.”

Matt shrugs again; doesn’t even bother looking up. “He hates me,” he just says, murmured and soft.

“He _doesn’t_. Seriously, he _loves_ you, Matt. Yeah, sometimes you pisses him off, and sometimes he’s angry at you, but that’s only because you _matter_.”

And that’s true, Edd _knows_ it is. There’s been late nights, days where Matt’s been off and quiet, and on days like that Tom will worry like no other, will hover about like an idiot, torn between showing he care and bottling up everything, and there’s been many times where Edd has had to pick him up from a bar, have had to drag him home and listen to him moan about how worried he is, how much he wishes he could just _be open_ with Matt, and it’s worse than a teen drama, it really is.

But Edd can’t say that, can’t just throw Tom’s personal business out there like that, and he’ll have to talk to Tom about it, tomorrow, will have to stick with just him right now.

“Matt,” he says, and gently shakes Matt, just enough to get his attention. “I will tell you, each and every day, that I love you.”

Eyes widening.

“You got that?” Edd says, and shakes Matt again, just to get his point across. “I’ll tell you this _every damn day_ until you believe me.”

Matt opens his mouth. Closes it. Blinks.

_Why_ , he doesn’t ask.

“Because you matter to me,” Edd says anyway. “Because you’re _important_ to me. Because my world would be sad and _empty_ without you, and I want to you _know that_!”

Matt’s face is open. Clear. And Edd can see it dawn on him, can see Matt realise how _serious_ he is about this, and maybe it’s not belief, but it’s something close to it.

“Oh,” Matt says, and reaches up to wrap his fingers around Edd’s wrist.

He swallows. Then, like maybe he’ll believe this soon, he nods. “Okay.”

And Edd lets himself smile, lets go off Matt’s shirt to tangle their hands together, and it’s late and they’re red-eyed, and neither of them are crying anymore.

“Let’s go to sleep though,” he says, and Matt quirks a smile. “It’s like, crazy late.”

Matt squeezes his hand; lets Edd drag him back down, curls up close, and their hands are still tangled together, dumb as it might be.

“I love you,” Edd says, solemn and genuine, and Matt presses his face into Edd’s shoulder, and almost smiles.


End file.
